all that cant be said

i love this one cos it really made me happy. just how girls can take charge sometimes and get over lousy ex-boyfriends.

OVER YOU - VERSION 2.0

i changed my number yesterday
knowing that it couldnt work any other way
pictures of us sent up in flames
taking with them your empty love claims
all the jewellery you gave me
i pawned it all for more money
because obviously, all i was was a bet
a proof that me you could get
so now i wish we had never met
i think it's really shallow
your selfish actions sent my heart to the gallow
as difficult as it is
i have to accept the truth as this
i'm leaving you before you can me
im so glad now i finally see
all you were was a waste of my time
living you wuold to myself be a crime
baby, you wont see me crying
you'll never see me frown
all the love i have for you is dying
in my sorrows no longer i drown
what i really dont understand
was how i could ever be so blind
the very day you first held my hand
and the cloud that blurred the vision of my mind
without you i can think i can rhyme
so this one's for you, YOU BIG BALL OF SLIME
trust me darling, i fortell the future
soon your chauvanistic nature
will be met with despise and a greater demise
and believe me, her majesty me well be around to see.

i wanna get over you
since what we had was never true
you left me high and alone
left me dry my temper blown
5 months since that day
i know you well, you always have your way
im not a toy
not some girl acting all coy
i never wanted you back
the course of my life you threw off track
now that you're back please cut me some slack
we both know i still love you
you'll always be part of my crew
but you cut me too deep
left a burn, now i cant sleep
i was fine till you appeared
put in my heart everything i feared
from your clutches i was freed
now that youre back again i bleed
i must get over you
just how i dont have a clue

he feels low
yet he doesnt wanna show
when it gets out of control
he just lets it flow

she is in need
missing piece to complate
emotions catch on speed
so she hums it so sweet

"doo doo doo
dont behave like a fool
doo doo doo
dont ever lose your cool
remove that rock from your road
from your shoulders that heavy load"

losing the feel
despearately needing to heal
still everything put to conceal
in my mind a popular appeal

"doo doo doo
dont behave like a fool
doo doo doo
dont ever lose your cool
remove that stone from your shoe
from now on lead a life you deem true"

step off the ledge
in your diary of life write the last page
forget your sinful ways
but then the song plays

"doo doo doo
dont behave like a fool
doo doo doo
dont ever lose your cool
hurting yourself is never right
wake up please see the light"

you need to stop
your life's not that much of a flop
dont throw away a future so bright
not ever, especially not tonight

"doo doo doo
dont behave like a fool
doo doo doo
dont ever lose your cool
let this song guide you home
there, you're never alone"

it helps her
clears his mind from a complete blur
it will do the same for you'
just sing along, "doo doo doo"

this one has sentimental value for me cos its like one of those titles that i had in my head for really long but never really bothered to venture into. it kinda started the whole poetry lyrics thing for me. oh and this was written with an intention for it to turn into a song. so if anyone wants to lend a hand in figuring out chords... im really attached to this one. more than the rest so i really hope you enjoy it.

STARS ON STRINGS

hung up like ornaments in the sky
true inspiration for you and i
that night sitting with you on the roof
to me, that was good enough proof
i'm so hung up on you
but you're oblivious with absolutely no clue

hung up like ornaments in the sky
the stars shine bright for you and i
no one reads me like you do
nobody understands me as much as you
but you look only to her
and my feelings i push aside for later

it's so hard to cope
i think i'm gonna choke
you're blind to me, fail to see
our night under the deep blue sky
meant nothing to you
so please tell me why
my love for you is so true
but all i am to you is stars on strings

hung up like ornaments in the sky
a deep longing for you and i
love is patient, love is kind
love is passion, sure and sublime
it is humble, never ever boasts
you're the one i love the most

hung up like ornaments in the sky
this connection between you and i
finding memories you dig into your mind
but those with me you have left behind
my heart's melancholic cries
dry my tears as they fill my eyes

it's so hard to cope
i think i'm gonna choke
you're blind to me, fail to see
our night under the deep blue sky
meant nothing to you
so please tell me why
my love for you ever so true
but all i am to you is stars on strings

stars hung like ornaments in the sky
you're breaking my heart,
making me cry
can we go back to the start?
i don't wanna live this lie
they say stars reflect our lives
but the stars we see so perfect
as for us we only lack
those in the night are willing
ours are simply plastic ones hung from the ceiling

please let me go, cut the string.

i just went up to a caucasian guy and asked him if i could take a photo of his hair. haha he said no. obviously. he has a wuss shake. so not my kind...

ok i wrote this one with mark. we did alternate lines. my first collaboration. haha feels like im gonna cut an album and i'm working with pharrell. hmm now that's a thought. alritey. thanks mark!! oh i ripped it from your blog. haha

A JOINT EFFORT

my queen of hearts i've lost
now i wonder at what cost
to the jack of spades it was
taken from me by force
will the queen of diamonds do?
no, the feeling wont be true
but part of my hearts her's
with this the pain only made worse
now for my own foolishness i curse
her beauty captivating
yes, its mind blowing
the longing in me only growing
the river of love ever flowing
i walk in it serves a cleansing
to stain the water clean i'm willing
but all this wont bring back the feeling
the love the passion the pain
all reduced to a tiny little grain
as insignificant as an ant on a vast grass plain
so hard to bear i'd rather be slain
to the depths of hell i'll then be thrown
my limbs burn off as in pain i groan
to the devil my soul is on loan
only the queen of hearts can redeem me
only then in heaven i'll be
for now i gaze lovingly at her majesty
but all i am is just so ghastly
shes too great too prefect a lady
so i better flee hastily
before again her presence beholds me
and to the tree of love binds the lover in me
from her i shall never be set free
but true love i already see
it's a shame that person wont be me
her heart belonged to another one called "he"
my darling queen i'll send her off
but my hearts already soft
i need to leave or i'll breakdown and cry
to the great heavens i'll then fly
vying for her love at least i did try
but she thinks my feelings a lie
i really don't understand why
she thinks i'm not her guy
to her demands i have limited supply
but to her every wish i am tied
in each a failure i did nothing but cried
but i'm not afraid, i won't hide
because her remarks no matter how snide
changes not my love my ego my might
down the street i still walk in pride
people thinking my skin animal hide
so the story ends this way. forever lonely i shall stay
but till she says no, my heart belongs to her every single day...

you say you'll love me forever
take care of me whenever
search and protect me wherever
break my heart and leave me crying you'll never

he says our friendship will stand the test of time
sometimes i wonder if doubting that is a crime
we might be best friends today
but when tomorrow comes, who's to say?

they say family will support me through it all
the love and warmth to pick me up when i fall
siblings, parents and relatives who will never turn on me
i dont know, i guess i'll wait and see

often we are comforted
that this connection which has already started
it will remain there for eternal ages
adding to the diary of life new pages

for my thoughts she gives me a dime
i tell her "forever is an awfully long time"
then she starts to explain
clearing up the doubts which i claim

certain things do last
such things dont care about your past
the future is all that matters
till the day you die sends you love letters

forever is a long period
it doesnt even take that long to build a myriad
but he word holds a quiet promise
and takes your heart off the waiting list

to this dedication i stand in awe
to the sheer devotion i hesitate to call
forever might last long
but till you leave this world,
someone will be there to sing you a song

he sets my heart ablaze!
at the wondrous revelation i constantly gaze
my eyes always fixated on him
upon sight, immediately i beam

mom and dad dont support me
if only they could find it and see
their daughter's falling in love
with an angel sent from above

my friends say hes not good enough
to that i do nothing but laugh
they dont understand
the feeling running through me when he holds my hand

everytime he walks past
i wish that moment would forever last
his eyes staring into mine
i know hes definitely one of a kind

after school he walks me to my house
walking beside me, he quickens my pulse
at the door he kisses me goodbye
leaving my spirits at an ultimate high

he whispers to me a song
and for him my heart would sincerely long
he carresses my hair
speaking to me words so fair

oh my gosh! this is one crush
i dont think i can ever flush
he really turns me on
of his love and attention i am so fond

this one is dedicated to miah. cos he waited so long for me to post it up. so its for you. haha. it's mild cos i cant really write wad actually goes on here. too explicit. ahaha

I WAS A TEENAGED PORNSTAR

when i walk down the street
people point but dont greet
"hey thats the girl"
who would've known i send their lives into a whirl

it was just a job
i did it cos i didnt wanna be a slob
plus i was 15 and people were so mean
even now they wont wipe my slate clean

they dont know the complications
that tag along with such occupations
they were prejudiced and judged against me
it hurt so bad, i lost all sense of dignity

i see myself when i walk into a video store
at the magazine stands theres even more
it all happened so long ago
since then their disgust did nothing but grow

at job interviews managers ask
"what have you fulfilled? what important task?"
i dont have anything accounted to my name
apart from all the unwanted fame

what awaits me in the future?
will laughs and mocks become second nature?
i was a teenage pornstar
at that time i didnt realise, my life i'd thrown afar.

i havent been blogging recently nowadays.
forgive me for my nonchalant ways
i've been preoccupied mostly
by the music that keeps me so happy

im thrilled to realise
that despite radio's musical demise
music's got a bright future
underground music's soon gonna be second nature

new bands discovered
chasing away the dark clouds that hovered
more indie more rock
releasing us all from pop's painful lock

oh liberate us from all the hip hop
i pray please let it all stop
this my hurtful (rather) plea
why cant all of you see?

more indie more rock
will release us from this painful lock
i treat my music seriously
you should or risk dying to the sounds of chingy.

eeww!

perhaps the best 6 days of my life
i saw devastation lives met with strife
the hearts of the people never failing still
no hatred. none aiming for the kill
they lit up my day everyday
set my heart ablaze in every single way
such innocence and unjudgemental views
things of which we only wish
not receiving even praying upon the cathedral's pews
love shone through in every dish
every smile brought a new meaning
now i wonder why all the complaining
these people dont have half of what i possess
yet for money and material they care less
content with the basic necessities
we are shrouded by life's controversies
all they long for is for our love
affection they never before experienced
now i finally understand the gift of sharing given from above
i wonder at the sheer childlike brilliance
these orphans showed me the proper way to living
their friendliness touched us all
their extreme need was only for us
now i wonder how time and time again we fall
upon the slightest error we fuss
those like chanthy and chamreaou have nothing
only to the hope of new family they cling
for the memory of the old one only gets more bleak
as days past grow even more weak
how i wish i could make their days better
but all i can do is to send a letter