all that cant be said

first time in YA in a really really long time. have to admit i did feel out of place initially. you know how they always say that church is the one place you feel at home. yea that's when you're in prayer. but you cant help but feel out when you have been out for a long time. jiamin val krystl and pp did help make it feel better. guan was acting gay in front of terence. haha that was amusing. and fred was getting bugged to join the servers. hehe. when YA started it was all GOD!

feelings not getting better in school too. im like being real honest here. and its hard. i dont think i can survive school without dorcas sam zr nat and the red cross pple. i'm not in any clique like practically everyone else in the school. if i do have a clique it'll probably be just me and dorcas. haha. sad but she's awesome so not so sad after all. yea i do know tonnes of pple. but so wad? im not really bothered by it though. i can self entertain.

so nothing seems to be really working out for me. but for everything that isnt there's something which is. i have a great family. all that i need is provided for me. a strong and steadfast faith. music to accompany me. my red cross sec ones to cheer me up (most of the time when theyre not annoying). the morons. nat sam dorcas zr.

in school sam jinshun and i were all stamped "looney" hehe. they're awesome.

man i seem so lost. but yet i have every direction and guide i need in life.

taken from rivermaya's if--

if i could choose to live my life
there'll be no ifs to say
and if i would choose to hold your hand
there'll be no words to say
without thought
without pride
leave the things that seem to weaken us
without fear
leave your lies
let the magic turn your life around

let the magic turn your life around. it has mine.