all that cant be said

dang the title doesnt make much sense. oh well. okaay today's monday. yay to that for theres that 70's show!! and desperate housewives and ooo las vegas! haha okay enough bout the string of beautiful people and beautiful shows on the telly tonight. yesterday was sunday. haha okay like duh. i know. ok that sounded bimbotic. ohhh! on saturday i went to st ignatius for mass. confi kids there had their covenant ritual. man! i miss confi class!! haha their choir consisted of 3 poeple!! 3!!! if the choirs in holy cross are in desperate need of people. imagine the satuday 6pm st ignatius choir. poor fellas! okaaay back to sunday. BOWLING went real badd!! i havent bowled as badly since hmmm.. well PRIMARY 5!! hahaha. but it was good in general. we had our laughs and embarrassing moments. lemme jus list them

1. dee walked around with my tape stuck to her butt without knowing it!! now thats wad i call entertaining!!
2. jessie sat on water right at her butt. hahhaha. ooo that was nasty but definitely funny.
3. ok this one is like a shhhh situation. cos no one saw. hahahaha. a little birdie sharted on poor me. hahaha. yea it was horrible!! but they say that when something like dat happens to you you get extra good luck!! hahhaa lets jus hope so larr.

sunday was a great day for meeting old friends and making new ones too. hmm. i saw meizhou!!! hahaha he was my informant one period in time. he still looks the same but this girl was like flanking him. *gossip* haha oops!! meizhou has a girlfren!!! hee hee!! ooo i met GRACE!!! hahaha the one with the brother named rex. haha damn does she look... the same.. hahaha. its so strange. i havent talked to any occ people in like 4 years or wad. and a few days ago ziwei stopped by. and i met grace. wow! hahaha. i got to know gordon and junhao from dee's class. this whole bunch of sec 2 boys along with eddy! haha eddy's so cute. and the calvin fellas one good bowler i must say. hmm.. oh and jessie's frens too. gotta know one of dee's friends andrew. and the irritating fella jingyang. haha ok i dont mean to be mean but he was talking nonsense during the tribute. like show some respect pleasse?

haha. sick so stayed home today. sam was being naughty arr.. i wont say how but it had something to do with something illegal under the table. no not that you kinky people!! the other slightly more healthy one.. hey but with sam whatever is healthy gets horribly twisted to something FATAL!! oh sam my dad told me to stop saying bugga. hahaha. you're lucky i didnt mention you you!!! aww its alrite i still love you.. hey wait.. maybe i dont.. JUST JOKING! better bring me to starbucks to see the cute malay fella behind the counter. my brother doesnt wanna visit cute guys for me no more. hahaha. IM NOT DESPERATE!!!!

marat won. dont really care. havent gotten over the fact that andy lost. he played horrible.

ok the blogs "like a lit book" according to ken. so im gonna lighten it up. with eels. its a song called mr e's beautiful blues. hahaha.

the smokestack spittin' black soot into the sunny sky
the load on the road brings a tear to the indian's eye
the elephant won't forget what it's like inside his cage
the ringmaster's telecaster sings on an empty stage
uh-huh, god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
ooh...
the girl with the curls and the sweet pink ribbon in her hair
she's crawling out her window 'cos her Daddy just don't care
come on!
uh-huh, god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
the clown with the frown driving down to the sidewalk fair
finger on the trigger and he'll tell you
uh-huh, god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
ooh...
the kids fit their lids when their heads hear that crazy sound
their neighbour digs the flavour still he's moving to another town
and I don't believe he'll come back
uh-huh, god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
well I don't know how you're takin' all the shit you see
and don't believe anyone and most of all don't believe me
don't believe in me
uh-huh, god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh
god damn right, it's a beautiful day, uh-huh

hahahha. neat!!! god damn right its a beautiful day!!!

ooo jus came back from crustcean grill at holland v!! oh my gosh the chocolate cake there... okok.. lemme describe it to you. it's texture is like a brownies. a slight crisp, but still soft, so it crumbles when you cut it up. inside is chocolate sauce... wow!!! it like flows out!! and the whole things warm. paired up with vanilla ice cream on the side!!!!! wow!!!!!!!! no doubt the best i have ever had!!!! the music there is great too. ok considering it was live music and the fella was hmmm...quite good looking. hahaha. he was great with his guitar and his voice. he sung jazz, rock, oldies! den there was i dare you to move, colin raye, tears in heaven stone temple pilots, verticle horizon and sooo much more. i requested for change the world but he couldnt sing it i dunno why so ha sung tears in heaven instead. when i was leaving he smiled at me! haha maybe cos i was the only one who actually bothered about him. i was singing along!! and he knew it lar. he was looking at me. hey if ya give me good music i appreciate. so i waved bye and he smiled again. he was singing so he couldnt say anything. he has a girlfren anyway so i'm not crushing on him. only his talents. amazing!!

so i want my guy if i ever get one.. hahah kevin youre not counted although we made the deal... i want him to SING! yea i guess that's like the whole charm of jake dylan and brandon boyd. yea den i can be serenaded by beautiful music every night. hahaha. i love music man!! cannot live without it. =)

ok so i went thru the form for service learning again. i wanna go to philippines still. but i really wanna see angkor wat. hahaha. cambodia has kids too. so maybe i'll consider cambodia. my parents now seem ok bout it!

last night ziwei came by my house. last time i saw her was like 4 years ago. man she looks different. haha. heard that jensen's now teaching at sss. jeremiah's getting married to jensen's sister. we talked a bit bout last time. ahaha. it was fun thinking back. i actually feel quite bad cos i used to scold jensen. den the spinner lane pple would go and tell jensen i scolded him.. hahahaha. IM SORRY JENSEN if you're reading. i was a total ass last time. still am now i guess. jus that now im maybe a nicer ass.

haha jus finished my proposal!!!! ooo camp's gonna be so fun. well that's if its approved.

yay today we had service learning briefing. finally the school's doing something right.. heehee. ok i dont mean it that way. oh wait maybe i do. ok so we were given places like Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, China, Nepal, Cambodia and Indonesia to choose from. sam, js and the rest wanna go to nepal. actually i was thinking bout that too. but i decided i'm gonna try for Philippines or Cambodia.

civil war is the one song that truly inspired me. it isnt like a soft ballad or whatever. it's a pretty hard rock song. but the lyrics totally blew me away.

"my hands are tied. the billions shift from side to side. and the wars go on with brainwashed pride for no love of god and of human rights. and all these things are swept aside by bloodied hands time can't deny. and washed away by your genocide. history hides the lies of all civil war."

it just so happens i was reading reader's digest. there was this article on kids suffering in poor and rundown countries like africa. countries devastated by poverty and war. there was this picture of this african kid. skinny. suffering. pain. it struck a chord. i swore to myself to help. the article was put up by world visions asking for sponsors and adoptive parents. i really wanted to help.

"look at the blood we're spilling. look at the world we're killing" i wanna help...

service learning to Philippines is under world visions. i really like what they're doing. them and the UN. this is my chance. i wanna help...

"i dont need your civil war. it feeds the rich while it buries the poor. you're power hungry selling soldiers in a human grocery store." corruption leads to widespread poverty and hunger. people are being sacrificed each day for a cause most of them dont understand but they follow because they have to.

the kids are caught in the middle of it all. i wanna help....

its not so much of what the people i go with can offer me. its more of what i can offer the people there, in turn enriching my life.

"stop the fighting stop the fighting stop the fighting. in your head in your head. zombie."

peaceout. end wars. please.

well kinda ironic how i jus told edmund like 5 minutes ago. its not the quantity but the quality of friends that you have. popularity shadows the true meaning of friendship. greed hides the power of love. dishonesty covers the pain of truth. sometimes the pain is something you must bear. take frodo for instance. burden of the ring. why's it ironic? why all the skepticism?

certain things you treasure so dearly. think. is it materialistic? can you help yourself? why are you spending so much time and effort on something you're not sure will work out eventually? there must be a reason. certainty is what we all want. unpredictability presents setbacks and torments us inside and out.

"Even closer than this life
Closer than your faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain
Closer than this life
Falling through again
Giving more than anything.
That you could hope to win
And what would you intend to find?
Solitude? Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?"

certain things are so hard to let go. a relationship lost. a person lost. emotional lost. object lost. wad we often don't see is when we cling on so tightly and even desperately to one thing we lose sight and focus on wad means more to us. these are the things we take for granted. family friends comfort love.

think about this for a while.

walking down the lane
you search for your light
hide the pain
keep them all out of sight
remove the mask
uncover the face
complete the task
sheltered by the grace
you search for a path
find a way to deal
consequences the aftermath
imagine how it would feel
swallow the pill
take back your life
give it a new fill
nothing can justify
nothing will comply
the judgement when you die
in thoughts deeds words and action
everything will come to his attention
"everything will be alright"
the skies light up to a bright
you are my child
i love you.

look around you. things you value. people you value. how much you want that. he wants you more. how much close you hold it to yourself. the same way he wants you to follow him. take up the cross. let him cleanse you. feed you. clothe you and mould you to do the good of his will. love yourself love him

"you move like water. i could drown in you" a lifetime by better than ezra
"life ain't anything alone can't you see?" closer to me by five
"i know someday you'll have a beautiful life. someday you'll be the sun in somebody else's sky but why can't it be mine?" black by pearl jam
"all the way in on my hands and on my feet and shoulders" king of new orleans by better than ezra
"if only you'll look at me and want to stay" if only by hanson
"do you know that everytime you're near everybody else seems far away" disappear by hoobastank
"i wanna always feel like part of this was mine" praise chorus by jimmy eat world
"life is like a shooting star. if you only run for cover its just a waste of time. we are lost till we are found" lightning crashes by live
"the killer in me is the killer in you" disarm by smashing pumpkins
"living for the only thing you ever did complete and the one thing that you both did perfectly" closer by better than ezra
"rah rah rasputin lover of a russian queen" rasputin by boney m.
"words can't say what love can do" i'll be there for you by bon jovi
"hit me baby one more time" hit me baby one more time by britney spears
"for you i'll bleed myself dry" yellow by coldplay
"i just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes" wonderful by everclear
"get the cool shoe-shine" 19-2000 by gorillaz
"the wars go on and the years go by with no love of god or human rights. and all these dreams are swept aside by bloodied hands of the hypnotised who carry the cross of homocide. history bears the scars of civil war" civil war by guns n roses
"i see the sadness in their eyes. melancholy in their cries. devoid of all the passion the human spirit cannot die" melancholy by iced earth
"i did what i thought was right all for the love of my life" a question of heaven by iced earth
"all of us are heaven sent. there was never meant to be only one" megolomaniac by incubus
"the sands of time for me are running low" hallowed by thy name by iron maiden
"ba rum pum pum pum" little drummer boy
"you're never nothing less than beautiful" angel standing by by jewel
"you raise me up to more than i can be" you raise me up bu josh groban
"go shorty its youre birthday. we gonna party like its your birthday" in da club by 50 cent
"fortune fame mirror vain gona insane but the memories remain" memories remain by metallica
"close your eyes and let music set you free" music of the night by michael crawford
"hey wait i got a new complaint. forever in debt to your priceless advice" heart-shaped box by nirvana
"theres nothing left to prove theres nothing i wont do. theres nothing like the pain i feel for you... when they say you're not that strong, you're not that weak, its not your fault" not enough by our lady peace
"dont go with your dreams untold" untold by pete francis
"there's nothing here but what here's mine" every you every me by placebo
"rows of houses all bearing down on me i can feel their blue hands touching me. all these things into position all these things we'll one day swallow whole" street spirit by radiohead
"i dont ever feel how i felt that day. take me to the place i love take me all the way" under the bridge by red hot chilli peppers.
"every whisper of every waking hour im choosing my confession" losing my religion by REM
"shoo shoo shaking sha shakin im shoo shoo shakin sha shakin" im shakin by rooney
"take me to the magic of the moment on a glory night" wind of change by the scorpions
"your pride has built a wall so strong i can't get through" still loving you by the scorpions
"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" closing time by semisonic
"despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage" bullet with butterfly wings by smashing pumpkins
"i can forgive and i'm not ashamed to be the person that i am today" so far away from staind
"even if you cannot hear my voice i'll be right beside you dear" run by snow patrol
"trust in my self-righteous suicide" chop suey by system of a down
"look into my eyes and its easy to see. one and one make two. two and one make three it was destiny" tribute by tenacious d
"everyone has to face down the demons. maybe today you can put the past away" jumper by third eye blind
"im twisted cos one side of me's telling me that i need to move on. on the other side i wanna break down and cry" burn by usher
"for the life of me i cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise" freshmen by the verve pipe
"carry you around when you're athritis is bad" i want to grow old with you by adam sandler
"this wait for destiny won't do be with me please i beseech you" my paper heart by all american rejects
"nights when the music ignites you" t rex by ash
"we made our connection. a full-on chemical reaction brought by dark divine intervention. a constellation once seen over royal david's city. an epiphany you burn so pretty yea you are a shining light" shining light by ash
"in my car we are superstars" rewind by better than ezra
"then they ask what went wrong. when you never had it right" desperately wanting by better than ezra

jus came back from the tv. so far everythings going as planned. agassi lost to roger. marat won. andys gonna win and hes gonna meet lleyton whos gonna win. all the top 4 seeds. den andys gonna rule. i'll be realistic and say that rogers unbeatable. for now at least. if andy doesnt make it i want marat or lleyton to win. but if lleyton wins he has to beat andy in the semis. hmmm. lets jus wait for the quarters to finish first. yea ok thats real shallow. only happens 8 weeks a year though. once in jan den in march june and september. so DEAL.

sam jinshun and eddy are the funniest fellas around. hahha. eddy and his "what is my fave swear word?" question. haha. jinshun and his extreme vanity!! sam and his.. well jus being the bugga that he is. been hanging with them most of the time in class. its fun! totally.

stanley's dating jasmine?! hahaha ok kinda shocked. actually totally shocked. apparently hes grown taller. but shes still too tall. oh well. wonder if he still has his moustache. haha

gonna join the tsunami bowling thing. i suck at bowling man. but i dont wanna give it up. jus need to practice. terribly rusty. need some sacrificial protection. or whatever you call that

holding back the fool again. holding back the fool pretends. i forget to forgive. nothing is important. holding back the fool again. i knew my loss before i even learnt to speak and all along i knew it was wrong. but i played along with my birthday song. billy corgan is a genius. james iha. call me.

hmmm lucia told me lots bout kieran or cam as we call him. hahaha. so it seems we happened to stay in the same house. like WOAH. hahaha. lotsa other stuff lar. hehas long curly hair. hahaha scary? i dunno he always looks about the same anyway.

was talking to timmy online for jus a while. totally great to talk to him again!!! hahaha. was talking to edmund too. it was fun.. andre was totally playing around again with his sources and news of pretty girls. YOU!!! hehe. jordan was insulting roddick. typical. nat probably was playing rose online. dont you dare msg me wad level you're at!! was having tennis talk with andrew too.

nat tried stuffing the eraser into my mouth. den msged me "you have a big mouth" bugger!! im so gonna spike your coffee the next time we go out. or pour tonnes of cinnamon in!! ok so after i write this im gonna read your newly updated blog. see how many chiobus you see today ar..

need to finish up red cross camp proposal. oh was jus thinking next time when im in the U i'll apply to the big unknown. hahaha. looks kinda fun. like mtv its my life. jus that its channel 5.

totally in love with LAS VEGAS. haha. now thats what i call good tv!

went for ocs commissioning parade. kinda cool. like perfect marching and banging. shook the hands of 14 strangers. hahaha. actually shook the malay fella who slept outfield's hand twice. they're all real nice. being soldiers. totally macho too!

hope everything's going well for uncle clement. know he has come problems. we both trust that god will provide for him and help him.

we'll take our hearts outside leave our lives behind. i'll watch the stars go out.

yesterday went to orchard with jocelyn and nat. walked around den went to starbucks to study. after dat met samuel. tried for sooo long to get matthew down with us at the end we jus went for the movie ourselves. stupid sam didnt manage to get peter wong. elektra was freaky lar. especially the first flashback with the devil fella. ooo but the baddie jap fella was handsome lar. but he died. dammit!! ooops if ya havent watched it im so sorry. but i was seriously pretty freaked out by the devil thing. i was like oh no please dont appear again. i swore if he did i would have screamed out okaay. ahah wad was damn funny was halfway thru the show nat was like "who's the girl ar?" felt like whacking him soo hard larr!!! but jennifer garner looks so sexy. damn! oh and we went on a male model photo-taking spree. took 3 of the springfield model and one of the calvin klein fella. tried to get the ck crave guy but they only had freddie and the new guy we took. went to esprit to get nat's shirt and took a super duper cool picture of me and sam in sunglasses. i so make him look good lar. ok so on our way to meet the sweethearts we dropped by at topman. "fast women needed for slow shag." that is sooo cool!! hahaha. cost 33 bucks though. kinda lacking in the money dept nowadays. so met up with the sweethearts. den sam went for dinner with mr and mrs wadeva sam's surname is. den walked taka like thrice. got scolded cos i was accused of exaggerating a story. I WASNT!! it's true!! went to scotts for dinner. saw cute ang moh fellas with long curly hair. my kind. thats why i love brandon boyd. nat mentioned that asian girls like caucasian guys and caucasian guys like asian girls. so he was like lamenting it. i wasnt though totally. oh met hengchuan so nice to see him. haha still as short as ever!!! after dinner took mrt. got scolded by parents. got grounded. yea. i deserved it lar. hmm saw guan in church he has red hair!! haha corrupted head prefect!! ahahaha. alrite song for today is the dolphin's cry by live. good alternative rock metal kinda music. hahahah. or ya can jus buy an incubus album and swoon over brandon boyd.

ok so suddenly my hobby is like doing homework and listening to people i dont want to listen to talk. last 2 weeks were rather ok. yesterday was a blast!! my brother ROMed so now i have an older sister!! well legally at least. after that we had 4 course french lunch. or was it 5? hahaha. first course was foie gras 2nd was the main course of lamb 3rd was an assorted cheese platter and lastly chocolate cake. and lotsa booze. it's not like i'm underaged anyway. hee hee. *evil laughter* so everyone's really happy, well except for those people in school. ok i shall give some credit to the teachers cos a lot of them do good at teaching. haha. alright singapore is playing on saturday. i hope i get to go watch the match. must get grandstand. less chance of getting hit by the urine filled botttles. imagine they have to pee on the stands to fill the bottles. its's downright sick! yea so i have to remind jarrell that there's football. JARRELL THERES FOOTBALL!!! yea thats done. =) oo and gotta get my brandon boyd poster and my zero shirt. if theres like an incubus shirt which reads MEGALOMANIAC im so on it. goota check out the meaning. i have a feeling it's not something good. ooo guan got me super funky orange earrings. thanks babee!!! actually didnt really do much these 2 weeks. went over to yinghao's place to see andre den realised that yinghao aint who i thought he was. his house has a great view and a nice couch though. anyway i was practically falling asleep at his place so i jus went back home to sleep. his house is really nice but mine's bigger. WAHAHAHA. ahahahha ok not that that matters. hmm in school i've been basically hanging with sam in class. recess with dorcas and after school with joanne. hahaha. its been ok lar. ain't all that bad. other than the homework part though.